major/minor - words on the water

I have listened to Thrice since I was in Jr. High. I feel like they have developed a lot in the years they have been releasing music. I still listen to the music they create, maybe because they influenced me so much when I was younger. 

Their last few CDs have had some strong Christian sentiments woven into them, and I find it refreshing. 

Anyways, this is off their new record that came out in September. I enjoy this song.

Standing knee deep in cold water, swiftly moving, somehow I knew I’d lost something. 

Wading waist deep I saw a book there in the river, waiting for me to find it there. 

I tried to read it, neck deep, treading water, but the tide, it pulled me out to sea. 

Then, with water in my eyes, the words began to rise from their place. 

They were beautiful and dread; I reached for them and fed on each phrase. 

They were honey on my lips, but then a bitter twist in my side. 

I knew they’d lay me in my grave; “Is there no one who can save me?” I cried. 

Sinking, down deep through cold water and heavy silence, shadows stirring in the gloom. 

What things that lay sleeping down deep in the darkness woke then, to find me in that tomb? 

And when I lost all hope to look, someone took that heavy book – 

from my hands; all its weight they set aside, after they had satisfied its demands. 

I felt white and black reverse, and the lifting a curse from my heart. 

Then like one receiving sight, I beheld a brilliant light in the dark. 

part 2

I think it would be wise of me to buy skis. I imagine that winter wouldnt be such a prison if I owned and utilized a pair. Even then, I will miss this summer almost more than any other, and I look forward to the next.

-----

to be honest to myself, I must say that lily was an essential part of my summer, being someone who selflessly awaited me every time I returned home. We are attached to each other. 

-----

 Moody

 Moody

Parker

 The outskirts of Rexburg, be it Moody, Parker, Hibbard, Burton etc, create the perfect setting for evening runs. Come to think of it, I cant exactly put my finger on why my heart swells when Im alone and find myself in these areas, but they are just so beautiful to me, and I cant imagine ever having to leave them. 

I participated in the annual Horseshoe 20k challenge held up in Horseshoe Canyon, which is located within the Big Hole mountains just west of Driggs. It was so hard, but one of the most enjoyable runs I have ever done. I got there 10 minutes before the race started, registered, then went to go pee. As soon as I stepped out of the portapotty, they were counting down from 5, so I hit play on my iPod and ran as fast as I could over to the other racers and had just missed them as they finished the countdown. I felt stupid, but finished 8th overall out of around 40 other participants which left me satisfied. 

I also went to Logan and ran with Thomas Anderson and Andrew Izatt in the Run for the Wounded Warrior 5k. Of course, Thomas won, and I got 7th overall having a time of 19:42 which made me very happy. Later that day, Thomas, Chris Perkins and I ran through a trail in Logan Canyon which I'll never forget. The sky was grey, but the trees were some of the most vibrant oranges and reds I have seen in trees. At times the sun would just barely break through and make us feel like we were running through fire, having illuminated the aspen groves all around us. I admire Thomas and Chris so much, it was a memorable day.

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Shae, Stephen and myself spontaneously decided to do Borah- Idaho's highest peak. Every step of this hike was bliss. It was intense as far as how fast you gain elevation, something like over 5000 feet in only 3.5 miles. My experience was almost magical though, maybe just by virtue of the fact that this is the highest point of my beloved state. A peak that stands 12,668 feet high in a range of mountains that contain peaks which are comparable. Out in the desert. 

Having passed "chicken out ridge" (Stephen)

 goofy me on the summit 

 I wish I could identify these other peaks, but I believe many of them are part of the nine, 12,000 ft. + peaks in Idaho. Seven of them being in these mountains, the Lost River Range.

 Lost River Range and the Lemhis far away. The big peak on the right being Diamond Peak, the only 12,000 foot peak in the Lemhis, and the peak on the left being Bell Mountain, which is just short of 12,000.

Descending the summit

That day was so nice. The summit being warm and calm.

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There is no place like Driggs. Its such a quiet town which sleeps right below the Tetons. Thomas and Stephen's grandparents own a cabin right in the middle of town that we utilize on a number of occasions as a headquarters to prepare before we do a hike or winter campout. One lazy weekend we decided to just go and spend a night and hope that we do something fun.

 We decided a nice little jaunt to the wind caves in Darby was worthy, and it proved to be. As we approached the cave however, a storm had picked up. Lightening and thunder made us nervous, so after having spent little time at the mouth of the cave, we ran the trail back through the rain. The temperature and humidity in the air acted as a fuel for me, and I felt like I could have ran forever. We soaked in the creek at the trail head when we were done.

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Thanks to many of my friends, namely Samuel Perkins and Thomas Anderson, I have developed an interest in rock climbing that has been very satisfying and enjoyable. This was my first lead climb on a route at Heise. 

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          There was so much more to this summer that I dont have photo documentation for. Except when Stephen and I spent a night in Skull Canyon and attempted to do Diamond peak the next day. There are no trail markers, and we took the wrong trail which lead us up and around Diamond, but also conveniently placed a giant canyon in between us and the summit. Although we failed, we considered the trip a success because we still satisfied or thirst for adventure and elevation. Next year.

          My brothers Joseph, David and I journeyed into the Lemhis for a couple day backpacking trip. It was a time to unwind and enjoy, so we found or way to a lake which doesnt have a name, and just fished and relaxed. The weather was incredible. I laid on a rock and soaked up the sun while emptying my mind of pointless anxieties. Joe and Dave fished and caught enough to feed us all full. 

          I find myself every time I do things like this. I am cleansed of the worries that try to strangle me otherwise. I drown these worries when I swim in an alpine lake, I suffocate them when I ascend to places where the air is thin, or they are lured to sleep by the calming warmth of a campfire, and Im left to myself with the ones I love, out in a place thats free of judgement yet demands that you be your best self, or at least that you be honest with yourself even when that seems impossible. 

All the while, the words of Mark Kozelek played over and over in my head

Mark Kozelek Live

Lost Verses - 

. . . I'm staring up into the sky, where all this rain is pouring downwards.

Im reaching out for your help, but evil beings hold me backwards

Odd shapes and shadows move in and out, and hover round my head

Voices arrive and disappear, I want to talk to them 

Darkness disintegrates, I'm rising, rising towards a light, a light leading over hills and meadows. . .

. . . I see you well and clear, deep in the moonlight dear,

Your radiant August eyes, they are the suns that rise,

They are the lights that blind, they end these lost verses. . .

Dave and I went camping in Moody, and I got this picture the morning we left. When I saw this, and every time I see this picture now, that line pops into my head

"Darkness disintegrates, I'm rising, rising towards a light, a light leading over hills and meadows..."

great summer. come 2012. 

PEACE

i left my heart in.. (part 1)

The seven week break in between semesters was a dream. I loved every second of it, and really felt like I continued to come to terms with so many aspects of my life, some things that have been obstacles, and some things that have really defined me and given meaning to my life. I travelled to the Frank Church/River of No Return Wilderness for a week long backpacking trip with my brother (and hero) Joseph, and two of his colleagues and friends, Jaren "Flying J, Javier, Xavier, J Stroke, etc.."  Watson and Braden "Bort, Bort-ner-ine" Hepner- also stalwart guys that I look up to.

The wilderness sprawls on for as long as the eye can see, being the second largest wilderness area in the lower 48 states, the first being Death Valley.

(myself)

(Braden) 

(Joseph)

(Jaren)
All of this was at the end of our destination, Ship Island Lake. Granite towers called the Big Horn Crags where the lake winds through and spills into the Salmon river (see photo below). I have never been anywhere like this in my life. The wilderness area is a granite batholith, so there are parts of the terrain that are completely made out of smooth rolling granite. This particular location beneath the Crags is a perfect example of such terrain.

Braden at the slide

 Ship Island Lake



Braden, Jaren, and myself decided to summit part of the Crags. We enjoyed a spectacular view but noticed a storm coming in from the east which prompted us to descend as quickly as possible.

 A trail run in the rain ensued and we ran the long way around the lake to enjoy and explore more. This is a picture of the crags at the end of Ship Island Lake

Perhaps a better picture of the Crags

 Fish Fin Ridge

Crags (Joseph)

Crags

Crags

My experience in this place gave me such a fond love of the great state of Idaho. The seal of Idaho includes the Latin phrase "Esto Perpetua" which means, "let it be forever." I feel like that phrase is justified and validated, and that it even needs to be upheld and protected in light of the great beauty and natural masterpiece that the Frank Church/River of No Return Wilderness is and encompasses. While posting these pictures and trying to decide which ones to use, I was frustrated because of how none of them do any justice to the magnitude of this area, but then realized that I'm happy they don't. Perhaps the beauty of such places and the feelings they invoke should best remain in the vaults of memory and the crucibles of the heart, where they last and continue to inspire, having witnessed them first hand.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Church_River_of_No_Return_Wilderness - check it. 

ban joe

erectus

you fill the lungs of the day

flooding. 

forgive me.. these photos were taken from a cellular phone. and i am no photographer. 

tonight i went on a run with mason stoddard on the R mountain out west of rexburg. it was quite the night and quite the run. the dirt was soft and cool, we experienced a little bit of rain which was refreshing, and the clouds and sun demonstrated to us that they can still naturally create something almost more beautiful than anything we could purposefully create as human beings. the smell of  the wet sage in the encompassing desert. the beaverheads, lemhis, and lost river ranges further out west looking down on us. the snake and teton rivers covered in cottonwoods (which can consume 100 gallons of water per day, per tree..) and even the teton range to the east. to the north the centennial mountains, which (i was told) are some of the only mountains in the states that run east to west. and to the south, the snake river valley spills forth. its all so defining for me, because its idaho. the state of my nativity. though i cant compare because i have really only lived here and nowhere else, im still so happy to be from here. 

when you throw running into the mix then the final product is most liberating. earlier this year i read christopher mcdougall's book "born to run," and was most convinced of its message. He argues that we human beings, specifically our species, homo erectus, evolved as running machines and that as far as distance and endurance is concerned, are the best on the planet. Its an interesting story and study intertwined to substantiate that thesis. Mcdougall specifically argues that not only did we evolve and thrive as a running species, but that we did so barefoot, and that modern running shoes have become somewhat of a detriment to those who enjoy running by offering too much by way of support and comfort which weakens the foot and therefore causes a variety of injuries and difficulties down the road to various joints and muscles. A possible solution that is suggested is re learning what he believes is correct form in running, that is landing on the ball of your foot or even slightly midfoot as opposed to the heal, and doing so with minimal support around the foot. Thus styles of shoes like the vibram 5 finger and other minimal designs have become rather popular. - 

vibram five fingers

I was skeptical at first (like i had any reason to be...) but was eventually curious enough to do additional research, do my best at re learning my form, and even bought a pair of five fingers, and now stand convinced that christopher mcdougall's point is valid and has the potential to improve others abilities when it comes to running. 

there is no better feeling to run, and feel like you could just run forever. I could run for days throughout idaho with the music and words of mark kozelek flowing through my ears and into my heart. 

an excerpt from sun kil moon's song titled, "you are my sun"

admiral fell promises (album)

You are a swing
Sleepy porches, the warm light
On my face
You are a charge, of wild horses
You are the sun
You are my sun
Seeping over, spilling out
Over the mountains
You are my sun

la grande, oregon

I was inspired by a friends facebook profile picture to search throughout the ruins of my life and recover artwork from a certain series of books titled, "scary stories to tell in the dark." There were three parts to this series, and I remember at one time owning all three. Closely associated with the memories of reading these books is with whom I would read them, namely my cousins from la grande, oregon. Lexis, Mary, Andrew, and Libby, to name a few. There was no better thought than knowing that I was going to stay a fortnight or so in the quiet, perfectly warm, pine and juniper smelling town of la grande with my beloved extended family, who I dont necessarily see as "extended" family, but rather immediate. While there, my cousin andrew and I seemed to be amused by such simple yet strange things. One of these "things" that andrew and i found great entertainment in were ghost stories and tales of a paranormal sort. We could find such stories in the series of "scary stories to tell in the dark." These books were perfect. The books caused us to tremble. They allowed us to safely venture into the creepy, cob webbed, fog ridden, cracked tombstone reaches of our imagination while yet retaining a steady grasp on reality. Not necessarily the stories (although I personally will give the stories credit for scaring me senseless) but the artwork within the books. For instance....

yes.. the thing. The line between actual memories and dreams inspired by these haunting images (especially from this time in my life, maybe 10 years or so ago) is drastically blurred. I attempt..

this story was about two teenagers in a house going about their business when they see this "thing" looking at them from across the road. I believe that in the story the "thing" gets closer and closer and they eventually converse with it. I cant remember what the thing says.. Maybe some kind of prophecy regarding the quality of the teenagers lives if they surrender their juvenile tendencies. (any help reminding me what really happened would be greatly appreciated.)  The description in the book of the "thing" fits the artists rendering. 

misc - 

I dont remember there being a story regarding this flying heap of anatomical confusion.. but I vividly remember the victim on the ground being so exposed to the blood-weeping skeleton's root like arm and tiny finger. It may be one of the first times I can remember sincere empathy for a non-existent person. 

I dont remember if this had a story related to it as well, but my purpose is to simply display the image. I also remember this one not only terrifying me, but also making me laugh. Those two emotions being felt at the same time at that age was overwhelming. I remember taking a nap at my grandmothers house (just up the street from the before mentioned cousins house) and waking up to andrew holding this picture in front of my face. I have had some strange connection to it ever since. Maybe because there seems to be a hint of maternal-like care peering out from the beedy eyes of this apparently woman like figure. The kind of look that she wants to care for you, yet has very bizarre, and perhaps terrible intentions. 

the friend whos facebook picture inspired me to reminisce so is andrew izatt (another andrew), who I have known since kindergarten and remains a driving and beloved influence in my life to this day. to honor him, i post the picture which is the cover of first book of the series. some rudolphed nosed, pip squeaked eyed, pipe smoking head who prefers to straddle the boundary between a dilapidated building and a graveyard. might I also add that the shape of his skull is note worthy. 

thank you, andrew.

and lastly, my favorite, and also the picture i use to transition to the close of this blog-

how that dead man danced! thank you alvin schwartz (author) and thank you andrew izatt and cousins for the memories.

dancing. music - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

This may be sappy, but I must say that at certain times in my life, I will hear a song in which the lyrics seem to relate to something I am experiencing so perfectly as to assist me in getting a grip on my perspective of the situation to move on and forward through life. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes with great pangs of fear and confusion. Nevertheless, I could never try and begin to dilute the amount of inspiration that comes to me from music and especially the lyrics tied to certain songs, whether I would be able to directly relate to the author or not. We are all primates anyways though, right? Doesn't that fact alone build bridges that connect the hearts of so many of us, the master species?  

I as of late have been soaking in the warm sincerity of Bon Iver's new self titled cd which comes out the 21st of this month. Justin Vernon's music has been essential to my well-being this past year or so, for though I have had few great triumphs, I have also been defeated and destroyed, time and time again. 

The lyrics from the last song titled beth/rest are gold to me at this time in my life.

        

             

Errant heat to the star
and the rain let in
the hawser rolls, the vessel’s whole and Christ, it’s thin

well Iʼd know that you’d offer
would reveal it, though it’s soft and flat
won’t repeat it, cull and coffer’s that
for the soffit, hang this homeward
pry it open with your love
sending lost and alone standing offers

it is steep / it is stone
such recovery
from the daily press, the deepest nest, in keeper’s keep

all the news at the door
such a revelry
well, it’s hocked inside of everything you said to me

it was found what we orphaned
didn’t mention it would serve us picked
said your love is known
I’m standing up on it

I ainʼt living in the dark no more
it’s not a promise, Iʼm just gonna call it

heavy mitted love

our love is a star
sure some hazardry
for the light before and after most indefinitely

danger has been stole away

This is us